When They Say Having a Baby Changes You

When they say having a baby changes you…
Personally I feel like my life is the perfect example of that statement. Before Annaleigh, I was pretty much everything that I stand against now. I looked at people like me (moms specifically) like they were aliens. I stood from afar & saw the ways of what I labeled “weird, uneducated, and sad” people.

Way back before nursing school I was a nanny. I met a handful of amazing families with even more amazing babies. Most of these were military families with the most interesting backgrounds, including the one who changed my life & the life of my family.
She doesn’t have Facebook, and I have no way of connecting with her now, but if I could I’m certain we would be the best of friends.

The first time I met her little family, I was so thrown off. I’d never seen a cloth diaper before. My first thought was, “how gross.” I texted Jonathan soon after to tell him that I had walked into a super weird family (sorry). When I looked around, not a single plastic toy existed. Instead there was an assortment of all these handcrafted, wooden toys. When the baby spilled his kefir (another WTF moment) there was no Clorox Kitchen Cleaner to clean it up. Instead, I found a bottle of citrus smelling vinegar.
When opening the pantry for a snack, there were no Quaker Granola Bars, candy, chips, or crackers. When opening the fridge there was no dairy, sweet tea, or soda.
I learned quick that next time I was going to “bring myself some real food” & I, of course, did.

I showed up for my next nannying date with a Borden’s Chocolate Milk, White Cheddar Popcorn, & wait for it… King Size Reese’s Cups. (Present me cringes so hard at this.)

Then comes bed time, but where is the nursery?
Oh he sleeps with you? In the master bedroom? Okay.
So we go in there & I was shocked to find a king mattress. On. The. Floor. Who does that? And of course a 1/2 gallon mason jar was at the bedside with some water — a slight change from my 50+ half full bottles of Dasani scattered throughout my room. Those were the biggest shocks to me. The rest fell in line with honey in unsweetened almond milk. I was given all the Halloween candy from their church event because “we don’t have sugar in our home”, wearing the tiniest baby around the house while getting ready, and the birth story of having that tiny baby RIGHT THERE in the living room where I sat. On top of that, the oldest proudly wore a t-shirt that said “born at home”, her telling me, when I asked about their pediatrician, that they see someone at the Alternative Health Store. Not regularly, only when needed — (again the nursing student mentality frowned upon this so much.)
There was the compost on the kitchen counter, the herb garden system in the backyard, the nontoxic toothpaste the toddler used, no television in the living room… the list could go on and on.

I loved this family but I was so out of my comfort zone here. Even if I was only sitting for two hours, I legit thought that I was going to die from starvation because there were no “snacks”.

Fast-forward to about two years ago when we really started talking about our future & the babies we wanted to have. I mentioned a natural childbirth & Jonathan thought I was nuts. I’d mentioned it here and there, but when we got married & found out we were pregnant…that’s when things started changing drastically.

Our house started accumulating all the natural birth books, we hired a doula, started taking Bradley Method classes, and wrote up a birth plan. I set out my research on cloth diapers, started building up our “stash,” & every day I was learning how much safer this decision was for our sweet baby. I was educated on all of the toxins in disposable diapers, the chemicals used to make baby wipes, the horror that is Johnson & Johnson, and made certain it would never be a part of her life.

Then we welcomed our beautiful baby girl.

We got the best pediatrician in the 850 (or so I thought.)
We went through the motions of doing exactly what the Dr. told us. (Aside from starting solids at 4 months, because that’s one thing I knew was a big NO from all of my infant nutrition (breastfeeding) research.)

At Annaleigh’s two month check-up Jonathan & I went in with her. She was perfect in every way. Growing like a weed. My mom had bought a “shot-blocker” that was supposed to ease the pain of the injection. I handed it over to the MA who gave me a look like I was ridiculous, and said in a snarky comment “Now what am I supposed to do with this?” After I explained, she said “I don’t know how that’s going to work but whatever.” Annaleigh preceded to get every dose that the CDC recommended for a two-month-old, while Jonathan & I each held her precious hands. All the while telling myself, “This is what we have to do as parents, and it’ll be okay soon.” I nursed her & we went on our way…after scheduling our next appointment at 4 months, of course.

A few hours after leaving Annaleigh started acting strange. She slept a lot & became  really fussy. She started coughing the next day, running a fever, and her eyes were red & swollen. The happy baby we had known since October 7th had faded away. The then-RN brain in me told myself how normal it was, it was only her immune system getting stronger so that if one day she is exposed to one of the “deadly” diseases, she will not catch it. I had heard a few vaccine-injured stories but always thought of those people as wack-jobs.

Late one night, about 5-6 days had passed since her appointment she was still completely miserable. She looked so pitiful. I called the after-hours line and received a quick call back from our Ped. She stated that what we were witnessing “had nothing to do with the shots, that she had to of been sick prior to getting them”. I told her that it was very obvious that Annaleigh was perfectly healthy when we brought her in, and this clearly started just a few hours after all of her injections. We were told to take her to the Children’s After Hours Clinic right away, just to be sure, and to see if we needed medication for her COLD. It struck me so wrong. But we loaded her up & went. The Ped on call also tried to convince me that whatever she had was something she had before her appointment. She diagnosed her with a “cold”, said to let her sleep as much as she wanted, and sent us on our way.

A few days later she developed awful ecze from head to toe. Nothing I did was helping it. I cried and cried, searching for an answer to the painful skin issue. Still to this day at 8 months old we fight it daily. I’ve been able to clear it some by changing my diet to strictly Paleo, but what remains, I’m told, is only going to be cured by ridding her body of the heavy metals and toxins she received as a tiny baby.

This was the point of mass research for our family.

Hours upon hours, weeks upon weeks, researching.
Not just reading stories that seemed to be a clone of ours, but listening to & reading research from hundreds of physicians near and far. Learning a whole new side to what I had so casually accepted and also shoved down many throats of the general public.

I fought many nights, cried, prayed, dug deeper into the subject than I did in any part of nursing school. I did this for a solid two months. After spending at most 2 hours on the subject in college, I was overwhelmed at the information I had come upon. People didn’t talk about this, people in my profession DEFINITELY didn’t talk about this. It was understood from the time you apply to school that it was done, no questions asked.

Our old pediatrician’s office had signs hanging around the office that said “Vaccinate or get out!” When I saw these at Annaleigh’s 3-day-old appointment I was overjoyed. These people were a no-nonsense group. This was definitely the place for us, I was certain. But now, there was clearly no way for me to go back in there with all these questions. We would for sure end up being asked to leave.

But to find a pediatrician who would talk about these concerns with us? That was educated far more than the majority? Impossible, I thought.

Until the night before her 4 month appointment, when I was introduced to our answered prayer. Someone close by who would spend over an hour talking about these concerns. Who said things you’d never expect to hear from a medical professional. Who agreed that yes there are MANY exceptions to the vaccines but it would be too much work to sort through so we give them to every baby, starting at just a few minutes old until well over 18.

I asked how he felt about our situation.
Annaleigh being exclusively breastfed, never stepping foot in a daycare, me having a healthy diet, etc.

He stated that it “certainly made a difference” and went on to go over each and every disease that our tiny infants are vaccinated against. One point that really stood out was “if the pharmaceutical companies could make a vaccine for the common cold they would, because money, but does that mean that all of the toxic ingredients and the harmful risks & side effects are worth it just so one strand of a million of the common cold is protected against?”

What? Did he really say that?
Yes. He did.

He went on through these diseases and reassured exactly what I had come to a conclusion on in my two months of research. These “deadly” diseases aren’t all that deadly. There are more people dying of vaccine injury than from the diseases themselves.

My research didn’t stop there. In fact, it continues multiple times a week. Because this is my child, this is the future generation, and this concerns so many more than just our child.

I’ve come such a long way in the past 6 months. If you’re reading this and thinking what an idiot I am, know that I had the same mentality 6 months ago. Because that’s what I was taught. There was no other way.
But there is. And if you start to search, you will soon find there are thousands more who have came to this same conclusion.

Vaccinating is a huge decision among the thousands you make everyday as parents. It should be made with the proper education, just as every decision we’ve made so far has been.

So here I am, doing nearly everything that this “weirdo” mom was doing, 4 years or so later. And wishing, hoping, that more strong-minded people like myself will be reached and influenced to do their own research. Trust me, the data is out there.

When They Say

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